How To Be Fully Awake?
It’s been years since the last time we were quarantined for months because of the damned pandemic. During that time, I didn’t feel awake at all. Quarter life crisis struck me, or even became my only friend. Every night became my day. Loud silence kept me awake. And yes, I survived every night without feeling fully awake.
That noise, that thought, I truly know what that is, even until now. It was always about my future. What will I become? Will I ever fullfill my dream to become a screenwriter? Will my name can ever roll on the film credits in cinema? Well, until now, I have no idea.
I feel like those thoughts can’t keep me fully awake. I feel like I can’t unleash my full potential. Especially when it comes to writing film screenplays. It’s more than a hobby, or a job, maybe it’s my true passion. But sometimes, when creative block strikes me, I might thinking this is not my true passion, or, is it just me that feels drained, or are my thoughts just holding me back?
But anyway, what is “fully awake” really means? Is it about unleashing our true potential so we can always do perfect work? Even every great screenwriter I admire, who has already won several awards, made some mistakes too — wrote bad screenplays compared to their previous works. Were they fully awake when they wrote those bad screenplays? Then I realize, “fully awake” is not specifically about talent or skillset; it’s about concistency.
Creative workers really know how important it is to be fully awake cuz it will define the quality of their work. I do believe that quality takes time. It will costs so many sacrifices. And most importantly, it requires persistence and concistency. Maybe it’s just me that hasn’t been disciplined enough to learn more and more, or maybe I’m too good at procrastinating. The only thing I believe I have to do is to stay hungry. As Malcolm Gladwell said, it takes 10000 damn hours to be insanely good at something. Seeking for more “foods” and try to not get satisfied too quickly sounds like the answer I need.
So, dear my self, wake the f*ck up!
